Because our streets are filled with idiots …

 We all are most familiar with idiots of the roads that we encounter on a daily basis. You don’t need to be in the driver’s seat to face absurdity at most times. Sometimes these are the idiots who overtake from the wrong side without a reason or those who honk on the red lights these maybe those who replace their headlights with blinding tube lights or those who like to DJ in traffic jam courtesy their blaring music systems. Apart from causing accidents on the roads these elements are responsible for our rising blood pressure level and frequency of migraines. Here are a few categories most prevalent on Delhi roads:-

A.      Street DJ : These are mostly those idiots who are self-proclaimed DJs, they can be standing in a traffic jam and play blaring loud music, or you may come across them in parking lots were the play music at full volume and for betterment of society make sure everyone in 2km radius can hear them. For all those who practice it…. You only cause noise pollution.

B.      Michael Schumacher: These idiots race on the streets like they are on racing tracks. With headlights on and continuous horn they expect the people on the road to dissaperate as and when they arrive. Sorry guyz not possible, India has its racing track now try showing your talent there.

C.      Emergency Vehicle Racers: These people have always seemed to confuse me. I can never really make out if they are racing the vehicles, clearing way for them, or showing off their tail lights. You are supposed to GIVE WAY and not GET IN THE WAY.

D.      Fast Lane Learners: These are those learners who someday become a part of desi Michael Schumacher category. Till that fateful day they believe it’s their right to obstruct the fast lane. The fast lane is meant for fast moving cars please take your 20km per hour to the slow lane.

E.       Avid Shoppers: These idiots come across as avid shoppers, they see a shop, they stop, hop off and go leaving the rest waiting for them to come back and move their car. Have patience, it doesn’t take that long to park your vehicle.

F.       Flexible two- wheelers: Yes we realise your vehicle is small and mobile but that does not entitle you to stand horizontal just because you fit! News Flash: being small and mobile also means you could be small and not visible to larger vehicles that run over you.

G.     Walkers:  Haan bhai sadak hamare baap ki nai hai…. But that doesn’t mean you will signal us to stop with your hands and just start walking, it takes longer than that to brake.

H.      Christmas Trees: These idiots are fond of decorating their cars with innumerable lights and then flashing them on people. Really apart from blinding the driver completely your tube lights serve no purpose. So as a favour to humanity change them before u cause devastation.

If you could recognise your selves from any of these categories, then you are a risk to road safety.